I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas! I hope you all enjoyed your holidays with friends and family as much as I did. Being a mom this time of year brings on a little more stress than usual, but I guess that is how it goes being an adult.

So excuse the less glamorous personal moment, but I am horribly bloated at the moment because my monthly 'gift' decided to come back at exactly 9 months from having Evie. Which is great she stayed away that long, but Ugh. I was hoping for a few more months. Such is life. Since we are done having babies its no fun to think about cycles and what we could make of them. Now its just tracking so we can prepare.

So now is the time of year when I consume all the rest of the bad crap in the house and attempt to make a "new years resolution" to be healthier. Well, really in the past I havent made any resolutions like this because I was either pregnant or planning to become pregnant, or just had a baby. So, whats the point, right? Well That logic, along with eating at the chinese buffet like 3 times a week before we had kids, has gotten me to about 215lbs. I havent weighed myself yet. Mostly because Im terrified it will just make me depressed and then things will get worse. I had started to lose weight. I was at 210, and got down to like 191. I fear that I am back up close to that 215 mark. Especially with all the freaking cookies. WHY did I bake so much????

Also, why is it so hard to create a meal plan that is healthy and just stick with it? I think the planning part is the hard part for me. I literally need a list to go to the store with or I wont get the right thing or enough food. Does anyone have a meal plan that they have used to lose weight? I really dont want to eat the same 4 things each day, but I kind of need something with only so many ingredients so that its easier to shop for. Plus Id have to make 2 sets of meals for the kids too because I dont want them to lose weight. They are by no means overweight. AND im nursing. So I dont want my milk supply to dip because Im trying too hard to diet.

I have a treadmill and need to get myself back on it. Maybe some extra B vitamins will help? Is that breastfeeding safe? I must go google. I need motivation to wake up in the morning to get on the treadmill and run before the kids wake up. Cause for some reason Im still not at that point where I am willing to sacrifice to make this happen. I want it to happen, I just haven't hit bottom yet?